Posts by Pete Zahut

106

Walking a thin line - Resigning Elder

by Sanchy in

jw
friends

warning of a long boring post ahead.

i feel like i need to vent my story out, as i feel quite helpless at the moment.. i'm 31 year old, married, father of toddler with another one on the way, due later this month.

i've been serving as elder for about 4 years now in a south florida congregation.

Pete Zahut

She kept defending the org claiming that it's "not perfect, but closer than any other religion" so there's that, ... but, at least she's listening.

How many religions has she actually studied? Or is her knowledge of other religions based on what she's read in the Societies Literature?

A lot of people have misconceptions about what Jehovah's Witnesses believe because they only know what they've heard.

Ask your wife if it would be wise for a person to buy a car from a Ford Dealership who presented her with one sided or negative information about Chevrolet's and other makes of cars and warned/threatened her against verifying the information by checking it directly with the other manufacturers. Most Jehovah's Witnesses only know about other religions via Jehovah's Witness filters and their minds are closed. Worse yet, they've never checked into the Blood Issue via outside sources yet are ready to die to uphold it.

42

Say it with memes!

by EdenOne in

got something to say about the organization, the "truth", the gb, the witnesses, the apostates, life and quantum mechanics?

say it with memes!

let's create a repository of memes on this thread, new old and whatnot!

Pete Zahut

42

Say it with memes!

by EdenOne in

got something to say about the organization, the "truth", the gb, the witnesses, the apostates, life and quantum mechanics?

say it with memes!

let's create a repository of memes on this thread, new old and whatnot!

Pete Zahut

42

Say it with memes!

by EdenOne in

got something to say about the organization, the "truth", the gb, the witnesses, the apostates, life and quantum mechanics?

say it with memes!

let's create a repository of memes on this thread, new old and whatnot!

Pete Zahut

42

Say it with memes!

by EdenOne in

got something to say about the organization, the "truth", the gb, the witnesses, the apostates, life and quantum mechanics?

say it with memes!

let's create a repository of memes on this thread, new old and whatnot!

Pete Zahut

106

Walking a thin line - Resigning Elder

by Sanchy in

jw
friends

warning of a long boring post ahead.

i feel like i need to vent my story out, as i feel quite helpless at the moment.. i'm 31 year old, married, father of toddler with another one on the way, due later this month.

i've been serving as elder for about 4 years now in a south florida congregation.

Pete Zahut

Hi Sanchy, I've read through or scanned all of the comments and see lots of good advice here. Here's mine in a nutshell.

This is not an emergency....a fix doesn't have to happen right now or all at once. This situation didn't happen overnight and there is no reason you should expect to fix it immediately.
Your wife is bringing a new life into the world and needs to feel secure. Do and say what it takes to make that happen. Again, this doesn't have to be resolved now.
You've already pulled the plug on being a full on elder so that's a done deal but I'd use the arrival of a new baby as a reason to curtail other so called "privileges", temporarily (or so it would seem to them).
In a few weeks when this has died down, casually mention to one of the other elders ( in so many words), that you're been thinking about it more and that you're probably going to focus on yourself and be more available for your wife and newborn so from now until you see how it goes with the baby, it's unlikely that you'll be available to anything additional. ( you wouldn't necessarily have to to your wife mention that you've done this)
Remember, being an Elder is a voluntary thing...they don't own you, and it's not a requirement to be one.
With your new found freedom / time, be an extra big help around the house and with the kid(s) (i'm guessing you already are) but don't be too obvious about it. Just do extra little things that will make her job/life easier and nicer. (wash her car, put a load of laundry on or fix something around the house that's been neglected) but do it quietly without trying to be noticed or make it seem as if you are trying to prove something. She may like the change in you.
Don't try to show her the holes in the doctrines you are learning about. Rather, from time to time casually ask her to help you to make sure you are understanding certain things correctly. I found that when I did this with my wife, she began seeing the holes in the reasonings as she explained them to me. I didn't have to say anything...just listened. In fact, if I showed here something point blank, she'd put her guard up and or blinders on.
If the topic of teaching the children comes up, let her know you are open to whatever she wants to do in that regard, with the knowledge that more than likely, if you handle things tactfully, she'll begin to see the light herself as time goes on and so will the kids as they get older.
You are definitely not alone when it comes to feeling the pit in your stomach one feels when they discover that the one thing they counted on in life, isn't true. As uncomfortable as it is and as much as you want it to go away right now, time will be a friend to you as you adjust. Don't burn any bridges with friends of family by spilling your guts to them too soon.(or at all)